The passing

The passing-what does that mean? One can take from that many things, but tonight for me it is the passing of an aquaintance.....it is the thought of a beautiful and strong woman losing her husband the day after his 75th birthday to Alzheimers and its' complications. She lost her best friend, her lover and her friend. Today I know that any of my or anyone else's self imposed problems or NOT! Today I know that I am blessed. Tonight....I pray for the woman whom has lost her husband, lover and best friend and have counted my many blessings. The bumps in my road including divorce(a not very pretty picture now and again) do not compare to the loss felt by those of a woman, any woman who has suffered this loss! Sleep tonight on this my lovely little misses.....the loss of a true love goes deeper than any loss, so let those near and dear know the depth of the love you feel every day without fail! On this note, all other of the days' stresses are none!

Really....me?

I have recently been approached about writing a book, empowering women and telling my story of divorce and the incredibly difficult climb of a woman in a hard world. I feel a little odd because I am very lucky in comparison to many. In the same respect all of my stories aren't so pretty. It has been difficult. How would my children feel reading a book about many, many things they do not know? Would they be proud? Would they be sad? Would they be empowered as ladies in a not so gracious society? Would they be enlightened about the trip I have made and the incredible strength that I have been given through myself, my husband, my parents and so so many dear friends and business acquaintances? Should I share my story? For now I do not know. It would be amazing to help women, whom otherwise feel powerless, overcome the true isolation that divorce can bring. Oh the heartfelt suggestions I could give......I love helping people, but is this for me?

NO...I still do not feel old!

It has been awhile and so much has happened.  I have found out that the wonderful Doctor who delivered my little miss #3 is battling breast cancer,  quite beautifully if there is such a thing, little miss #1 is now driving and her Dad has bought her a car, yes she is working a part time job-very part time-and makes me so proud of her intelligence and ambition, little miss #2 starts high school next year and is such a beautiful free spirit, and little miss#3 asked me tonight if I had "hurting feelings?"  I told her only when I didn't get hugs from my three angels in the afternoon. I have met a wonderful chiropractor -even though I don't take full advantage of her capabilites- because I am a big chicken- and the ever steady soul in my life remains amazing to me and my love grows every day for him-my husband.  My parents are moving a little further away for about two years so that my hard working Father can retire soon!!!  I am diligently working on stress in my life and slowly changing what I am here on this earth to do other than stress!  I read something interesting tonight on caring bridge-where my Doctor is journaling through her ordeal with breast cancer....an interesting thought from Kristin Armstrong "Runners World May 2010"......"Moments are like fireflies. You are a runner, so go chase them. Cup them carefully in your hands and watch the glow seep through your fingers. Don't miss it."  I am not sure who Kristin Armstrong is, but she said it beautifully.  So forgive me my friends and family for being candid, not rude or disrespectful, if I seem a little more straight forward than normal, but life is too short and pictures fade too quickly to give a damn about the little things that aren't worth worrying about anyway. This weekend, I am going to try and catch a firefly-how about you?

I still do not feel old!

Today my oldest little miss went ot her second "need a few hours" job interview, but it will be her first job!  I can not believe it and yet I am so glad to be a part of it.  My second little miss was sick today or so she said....and I am okay with that, and my littlest miss sang to me on the way to her home preschool to the tune of Taylor Swift......God has blessed me many times over.........

Just Wondering

Just wondering where people get some of their ideas from.  Just contemplating if anyone ever thinks about how their actions big or small might affect with a capital A, another person.  I think that I need to learn to remain on the cliff instead of going over it to make a person feel good about themselves or their actions.....or maybe that is just me and maybe that is why I may not be able to necessarily sleep at night, but I can lay my head on my pillow and KNOW that I have not  intentionally hurt someone else.  I hope that with age I might learn to step back and become a little more private, a little less...just a little .....less....giving.  I want before I die to take some time for me and just slow down.   How can I do that?  I want to care a little less,, feel a little less and surround myself and my family inside a glass bubble if only for a weekend........I know, I know I should be able to just do it, but that is easier said than done.  So I will continue and be grateful for the little things in life that make me happy and grateful that I have the knowledge that they are priceless.

Haven't written in a while!

wow, it has been a long time and so much has happened.  Lots I care not to discuss and plenty that is bittersweet.  I seem to have blessings thrown my way in forms that I am tested, but it seems to draw the family that I call my own together.  I am nothing close to perfect and do not expect (okay maybe I do) those around me to be, but the simplest moments in life are very perfect to me.  The following are just a few.......my oldest daughter kissing and hugging me goodnight(she is 16), my middle little miss staying home from her "world" to be with an emotionally distraught older little miss, and my three year old little miss jumping up and down in her seat with her best friend at her first circus,  my husband reaching out and just touching my arm to let me know "it will all be okay", and a dear friend and her husband in their own way letting me know they are there.  I struggle daily with acquaintances near and far that I come into contact with that find struggles with superficial and selfish things that mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.  I find disgust in those who treat people with such little respect and who cannot come out of the smallest obstacles in life with one small notion of walking in another's shoes, and it completely baffles me the extent that one will go to make themselves feel good at the expense of another.  I hope that my children will posess better qualities as they venture through this world we live in and rise above the stigma of divorce or the pain of memories that are nothing short of beautiful.  I am hopeful that they will utilize the tools that God has given them to excel in this life and hope that they never lose sight of the fact that I love them more than they could ever conceive.  I have always raised them into the light of eternal love and will always stand by their side.....and this my friends has been taught to me by my Father and Mother.  I hope that my beautiful girls will look to the example set by their Maw Maw & Paw Paw and the life that they have made for their children and grandchildren.   Well, it has been awhile and I will quit rambling, but will close with being very thankful for my husband, children and family and begging God to keep them safe and walking a path that is conducive to the path that was walked before them....

Camping out in the living room!